How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Your penis caused this!
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