I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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