nut hugger
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
