Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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