Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
