Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!

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(507): View more from Minnesota

She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(

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(917): View more from New York City

sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.

(917): View more from New York City

that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.

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(845): View more from New York

I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30

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(703): View more from Virginia

So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now

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(804): View more from Virginia

Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.

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(301): View more from Maryland

I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..

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