Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
