I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Banned from zoo.
Again?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
