No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
