Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
