where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I am available for nakedness
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
