haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
