Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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