She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
