I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
