Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
