How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
