Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
