you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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