College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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