I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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