like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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