You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
