His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
