Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
My hand turned me down
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
