Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
