stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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