All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
