I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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