P.S. I can't hear my feet
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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