my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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