If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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