I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
