You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Randomize
