So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
