I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Randomize
