the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
