Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
We had to coat check the pizza.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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