The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
