So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
