What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
did i walk over a car last night?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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