I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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