Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
