The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
