please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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