Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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