You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
