what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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