There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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