They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
